I do not directly talk about feminism and gender issues all that much, mostly because most of the things I could say fall into one of the following categories:
- stuff that seems utterly fucking obvious to me, has done since way before adulthood, to the extent where a) I can't overcome a sense of massive redundancy when talking about it and b) it feels as though anyone who doesn't find it obvious is inaccessibly distant - like trying to argue evolution with someone who thinks that empirical evidence is bullshit.
- stuff where I'm not an expert, and would do better to shut up and listen,
- stuff that's an attempt to unpack or qualify slogan-level arguments, where 'I would like to understand this in a deeper and more nuanced manner' can very easily come across as 'I am a mansplaining concern-troll.' Basically, to self-reference the argument-taxonomy over here, I gravitate strongly towards exploration, and that's often not appropriate in spaces where the main purpose is reinforcement. And reinforcement is not something that I find easy to do for people who I don't know well.
Nobody owes sex to anybody, ever, either as individuals or as groups. If you are not getting laid, there may be any number of reasons, but 'because women are oppressing you' is not going to be one of them. 'Because you are socially hopeless in some important ways' is a the prime candidate. 'Because you are not as nice a person as you think you are' is also likely. 'Because you have unreasonable expectations' is also one you should think about. 'Because our society has some fucked-up cultural attitudes to sexuality' is almost certainly involved -- but insofar as some of those attitudes are engendered or perpetuated by women, it's primarily in self-defence against the vastly greater cultural, economic and physical power of men. And you have probably encountered some women who are immature, unwise or straight-up assholes, but that's... really kind of normal, in any demographic.
You may also have observed that there are some pretty awful men who are getting laid a whole lot more than you are. Excellent observation! Note: being a good person is always going to be more difficult than being an awful one. That's Ethics 101. If you aren't cool with that, fine, but you no longer get to use words like 'rights' or 'ought to' or 'nice guy' or 'deserve'. About anything or anyone.
Yes, being deeply single and not getting laid can be utterly fucking miserable. I sure as fuck know about that: it was a major factor in a years-long, suicidal, major depression that lasted through much of my late teens and early twenties. Yes, I know it is fucking difficult sometimes to not resent women, in general or in particular. Guess what! Everyone you know is fighting a hard battle, and this is one of yours. As hard battles go, it is truly not one of the harder ones, nor is it unwinnable. The prize is that you get to qualify as a minimally decent human being.
Men who do not feel that the universe owes them a snuggle and a blowjob: as you were.